𝕭𝖑𝖔𝖌 𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖙𝖘!

4 jan. The difference between the inner and the rest

Since my last blog post I feel like I am a completely different person. I´ve been having a lot of thinking time, to understand what it is that I want and feel, I've been thinking about my emotions so much, I feel like I have my heart on my hand everyday. Exposed, for everyone to see. However, I also know that I am hiding so much and it is so difficlt to show those whom I care about my insides. My brain is overworked, actually, For working so much, thinking about my situation as a human being, it is very difficult to explain. And on that same note, I really need to learn how to express myself, I might be ruining my life for not being able to talk, I don't think anxiety is an excuse anymore, even if im shaking and nauseous I should be able to say what I want to say. That is my 2025 resolution.

ALSO a new year just started wtf!!! I started this entry with my depressing life instead of welcoming the new year, which I wish for everyone to have a wonderful one filled with all you love and want.

Another thing I wanted to talk about is this very page, I am extremely happy with all the new things I added and how it's looking! Also I'm very happy to log in here and see your messages in the chat box, please don't be shy and say hello or whatever! I love reading it ^^

This week has been crazy, the ghost that lives in my house is scary, but I actually miss them now that i am staying somewhere else with an evil one lol ( I might upload an entry about my ghosts)

I've been thinking about time a lot, how the days move too fast for my liking, how time seems to escape my hands and I can't stop it, I want to stay where I am. How do you feel about change? Do you embrace it or are scared of it? I would like to read your opinions ^^

So yeah, my update for this last month is, I am so scared of everything but I want to change, trying to improve myself is all I really want.

26 nov. Finally acting upon my wishes.

This last weeks I felt something change on me, I decided to start doing things that I always wanted to do, that I dont know why I was neglecting. Thinking about it, I think in has to do with the bug in my mind that hates me and loves murmuring on my ear about how I am lazy and that I am wasting my time. I am trying to learn that doing what one loves is not lazy, is an act of self love, and I should be proud of it.

So first of all, I decided to open myself to meet new people. I do have friends who I love dearly, but I wanted to meet new kinds of people, one thing about me is that I love learning about others (that is why I spend so much time reading other peoples blogs) so I started to talk to new people, to connect with potential friends, and I've met really cool people so far!! with similar interests to mine and it's been so much fun!!

Also, and the thing I'm most excited about! I started recording videos! little snippets of my daily life, very unprofessionally and casual but I am having fun with it!! I havent uploaded anything yet, but when I do I'll probably create a tab in the navigate section with all the videos for you to watch if u want!!

As for my day to day, its been very calm, studying for exams next month and sleeping a lot, I obviously have procrastination problems, but I don't think I can be cured of them lmao, they are way to engrained on who I am, it is really painful and it is connected to deeper problems with myself but it is easier to just kinda ignore them. There's been some problems in my family that are breaking the already fragile dams that are containing all the shitstorm, I am scared of the moment they break. But for now, I'll enjoy my peace.

Can someone recommend me some bands? Specially small ones that you think deserve more recognition!! I enjoy the punk scene, but any rock and metal is fine, I am still trying to build a music style with things I truly like!!